I Can't Walk Away Epilogue

Mika's Note: Holy crap, I'm done!

Epilogue

In the beginning, I’d had my reasons for not telling Jonas about the baby, my main one being fear. I was terrified that he’d leave me – just turn his back and walk away. Little did I know that that would be the least of my worries. I never dreamed that Macy would wind up pregnant at the same time and that he’d leave me for her. Or that they’d wind up apart, like I’d always hoped, and that I’d be somewhere else entirely.

My relationship with him had been tenuous on the best of days. He’d show up, he’d run off. He’d be mine for an hour or two and then go back to being Mr. Husband for the other twenty-two. And then there were days, nights rather, where she was off shopping or doing who knew what and he’d be mine, all mine, for hours on end. It wasn’t my idea set up, but it was what it was and I made the best of what I had.

I shouldn’t have had to sacrifice myself – my happiness, my heart, my pride – for the makeshift love that I got in return. However, I don’t regret any of it because if I did, where would I be now? I wouldn’t be sitting here in the park, soaking up the sun while my much smaller version of Jonas ran around on stubbly legs chasing butterflies. And I sure wouldn’t be so utterly, completely at ease with the world around me.

Jakob Tanner Delaney arrived just three weeks after the big blow up at my former place of employment. He came suddenly, and ten days early, bawling and kicking like any child should. He had his daddy’s dark hair and my blue eyes. I was immediately in love all over again.

And I doubt this little ball of energy will ever break my heart.

Jonas came by the hospital and held his son. Sherridan had called him, having had been by my side through the entire ordeal. I’m not sure if he ever quite got over the way his younger brother had eased into my life in a way he never allowed himself to. He called a time or two, but after the third or fourth time Sherridan answered, he just stopped calling.

And I think I’m going to be okay with that.

I made some bad choices, and I think I’ve paid the price for those mistakes. I’m now saddled with the responsibility of raising my son well enough that he doesn’t make the same mistakes his Mama once did. And if he does? I hope he knows that he’s not alone and that there is a way out. That he can change the course of his life and make it one worth living. You don’t have to be trapped by circumstance nor do you have to live in fear of making mistakes.

Because it’s inevitable – you will make mistakes.

It’s how you handle them that counts.