Mika’s Note: I had written the original chapter entitled Some Beach and then, about six months later, I got a writing challenge to write an entry in a father’s journal. I thought that taking this chapter and re-writing it from Blake’s point-of-view would be interesting. And I discovered that I do love writing in his voice. So much fun. :) This picks up right after Ali has snuck out of bed, leaving Blake without his heating pad. LOL
Some Beach Flipside
“Ali?” Blake rolled onto his side and stared at the empty half of the bed. “Where could she have gone?”
Groaning, he forced himself out of the warm bed and onto the floor. Stretching, he looked towards the bathroom. Nope, not in there, the door was open. Kitchen? It was empty too. Scratching his head, Blake started back to the bedroom when he noticed Albie’s door partway open.
What could she be doing in there?
Yawning, he opened Albert’s door and glanced in. Not seeing Ali, he started to go back out, stopping when he heard a sob. Looking around again, he noticed a light on in the bathroom. The door was halfway open and he approached carefully, not wanting to scare her. And if she was crying…?
Ali stood in her brother’s bathroom, clad in a plain white Hanes t-shirt, holding a long thin box, crying. Squinting, he tried to read the box when the sudden reality of the situation dawned on him. Very brightly. Oh my god…
“Care to explain that to me?” Blake asked from behind her, motioning to the box in her hand. How the hell did this happen?
“What? I mean, I thought you were asleep.”
“I was. Then I got cold and you weren’t there anymore. What’s going on?” Crap. Please let me be dreaming. I’m not ready to be a daddy yet. Please, not yet.
Ali sighed, resigned to the fact of the matter at hand. She lifted the box up and showed him. She watched him turn even paler as his suspicions were confirmed. “Blake…”
“How long have you known? Or suspected, I guess?” And why the fuck haven’t you told me yet?
“Just a couple days.”
“And you were gonna tell me when?”
“As soon as I was able to use this damn thing!”
“Sorry. Sheesh.” He turned to walk out of the doorway. Damn her anyway. I don’t need this right now.
Ali reached out and grabbed his arm, watching how the muscles played under the taut skin. “I’m sorry. I’ve been really stressed these last few days. I could lose my job, you know.”
“No, I didn’t know. You’d get booted from the military for being pregnant?” How the heck do they expect to get more soldiers?
“Not exactly. It’s more like HOW and WHEN and with WHOM it all happened.” She paused a moment and frowned. “I doubt it’d even matter that it’s been months since that assignment ended. I can hear Caleb now, ‘It’s the principle of the matter, Lieutenant’.” She shook her head sadly.
“Mmm… I see. So, why didn’t you call? Even if you didn’t know, and you were worried, you could have called me.” He held out his arms and hugged her hard. “I need you. I care about you. I want to help you. And I don’t give a damn that your general ordered us to stay apart. If you’re having my baby, I am here. End of story.” Please don’t let me break down and cry. She doesn’t need that right now.
“I know. You’re just… you, I guess. Superstar and all that crap. I didn’t want you to panic and foul things up for yourself. I certainly didn’t want to screw up your career. I’ve done enough of that to my own lately.” She sighed heavily and kissed his chest. “Besides, I knew Albie would be home in a day or two and he’d smack me around and make me do the right thing.”
He flashed instantly to a memory of meeting Albert in the driveway earlier. Blake started to laugh suddenly. “Sorry,” he mumbled, laughing even harder. No wonder he retreated so quickly.
“What’s so funny?”
“When I met him in the driveway, he said he’d gone to get aspirin for your headache. Couldn’t even go get your own test?”
“Too dizzy to drive.”
Blake looked down at her and smiled. “Too ditzy to drive maybe. Now, are you gonna use that thing or do I need to hold it for you?”
Growling, she pushed his naked body out of the bathroom and slammed the door in his face.
~*~
His smile faltered and faded as soon as she closed the door. He heard her sigh loudly, followed by the ripping of the box. The sounds coming from inside the bathroom were making him nuts. Crumpling paper. The sound of the box hitting the floor. The next three minutes would be the hardest he’d ever waited out.
He glanced at his watch and started the countdown. Then he started pacing. Wondering. Thinking. Praying.
I’m not ready to be a daddy. Not yet. I’m still too much of a child myself. He laughed at that thought. No shit, Blake? You can barely take care of yourself. A wife and a baby? No freakin’ way.
He shook his head roughly, clearing the negative thoughts from his mind. Glancing back at his watch, he noted only forty seconds had passed. Blake looked at the closed door and bit his bottom lip. Am I in love enough to marry her if she’s pregnant? Hell, will she even let me marry her? Will she let her brother beat my ass for this?
Just past a minute fifteen. Blake forced one hand through his unruly curls and sighed. There were so many things to consider. And so much of it had nothing to do with the maybe-baby. What if it was a false alarm? Would she still want to be with him? Would their relationship still be the same? Better? Worse? Stronger? He didn’t know. And how would this affect the ban on their being together? Would she even tell her general asshole if she was?
How will I tell my mother if she is? She won’t care how much in love I may be, all she’ll see is that I’ve screwed up. Again. She’ll never forgive me. And if this ruins her career?
Panic set in with that thought. Holy crap. What if she gets into serious trouble over this? I can’t raise a baby by myself. Damn!
He forced himself to take several slow, deep breaths. You’re overreacting. Take it one step at a time. Looking at his watch again, he was both relieved and frightened to see they’d hit the two-minute mark.
One minute to go. He paced, hands tangled in his dark hair, heart pounding. God, I love her. There. He’d said it. Admitted it to himself. And there ain’t a chance in hell that I’m going to let her go no matter what the outcome of this damn test! Finally, he was ready to face whatever fate had in store for him, and damn his parents, his job and her job too. All that revelation and fifteen seconds to spare.
Taking a deep breath, and saying a silent prayer, he raised his fist to knock on the bathroom door.
~*~
“Okay, Cookie. It’s been three minutes. Come out, come out wherever you are…” And please God let this all be okay…
Ali looked at the white stick sitting on the bathroom sink. “Crap.” Sighing, she let him in. “There,” she pointed to the offending object. “Go look.”
Blake took a deep breath and steeled his nerves to what he was about to see. What was it going to reveal? Baby? No baby? Would this tear them apart either way? He knew one thing for certain: he couldn’t let anything ever come between them now. Not ever. No matter what it took, he was on a mission to get her back for good. He closed his eyes as he stepped to the edge of the sink. He swallowed his heart back down into his chest, looked down, and opened his eyes.
“Aw, crap, Ali.” He stared in disbelief at the negative sign on the little plastic stick and sighed. Looking up and meeting her relieved gaze, he gave her a weak smile. “I guess it’s all going to be okay then, huh?”
“Yeah,” she smiled back.
So why do I suddenly feel so empty? And why does it hurt so much?
Mika’s end note: And why the hell am I suddenly crying when I knew how this was all gonna end? *sniff sniff*
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