The Girl and Her Ache

Mika’s Note: This is a very personal piece for me.  My best friend had a bad marriage.  Her husband left before their child was ever born, I believe, and if not, not very long after the baby arrived (it’s been 11 years, I forget, so sue me).  That poor child has this huge hole in her heart that he left and she can’t find a way to fill it without finding him.  I wish I could hug her and tell her that she’s so much better off, but I don’t think she would understand, and that’s a good thing, trust me, that not knowing things can be much worse.  Sometimes, it’s better when the Daddies don’t stay.  Just don’t ask me how I know.

I stood listening to the poor young girl just spilling her heart out over the father she never knew. All the hurt, anger and frustration she’d kept locked inside for the past eleven years overflowed and poured out before me. Her mother sat off to one side, frowning. Mom knew how lucky the poor thing was to have never known her father; the girl had no clue.

Yet, I had been on both sides and knew things that neither of them had a clue to. This is why I was there. Mom had the girl’s best interests at heart, and only wanted her child happy. She knew that deep down, once her budding pre-teen found the man she so desperately sought, that she’d be saddened, broken, and disappointed. However, what she failed to accept was that this, like so many other hurtful ventures, was a needed and necessary part of growing up. Something she needed so she could finally move on. Move forward.

Not pleasant by any means, but something the girl needed to do in order to become the person she was destined to be.

I took the girl’s hand and squeezed it gently. She looked up at me, blue eyes full of tears, and offered up a trembling smile. “So, do you get it? Do you understand or are you like her?” She looked across her shoulder at her mother. Not judging, just questioning.

I shrugged. “Don’t blame your mother; she understands more than you can know. She’s just trying to do her best.” She had, after all, been by my side through most of what had shaped me all those years ago.

The girl sighed. “I know, but she’s not making it any easier.”

Nodding, I agreed. It was a mother’s job to protect, to coddle, to keep safe. “It’s because she knows you have a lifetime of heartache before you, she wants to spare you as much of that as she can.”

The girl nodded, I think she knew that all along, but her quest kept her from acknowledging it. The desire to know, to discover, and to find closure burned in her blue eyes. “But I need this.”

Again, I nodded. I knew so well what she meant. I’ve been there. I’ve suffered the daily heartache of having a father who wanted nothing to do with you. At least, in her case, he’d left and gone away. Mine still came home every night, forcing the rejection into my young, pre-teen face, over and over until I no longer thought I could bear it. And yet, still I strove to make him proud, make him accept and maybe, eventually, want me.

Commiserating on her need to fill that empty space in her chest, to find that acknowledgement and approval that she thinks she lacks, I smiled softly. “I know I needed it once too.”

“How did you get past it?”

She is entirely too perceptive for one of her age, I realized suddenly. “I forgave him.”

The blonde child blinked at me and frowned. “That’s it?”

“That’s it,” I agreed. Sadly, for me, the forgiveness came too late, not until he’d been taken from me and there was no longer a chance for reconciliation.

“How could you give him that?”

It wasn’t easy. He’d destroyed me, more thoroughly than anyone ever could have. He tore down my defenses, beat my self-esteem into submission, and gave me reason to doubt every thought I’d ever had before or since. And yet…

And yet, it wasn’t him that I hated. Near the end, as an adult, I finally came to understand that it wasn’t him who had abandoned me. It was the alcohol. It was the addiction that had torn him away from his family, his job, his life. It abducted him and replaced him with someone no one knew. And that was what had happened to this child as well. The drugs, the lies, the addiction had stolen her father away from her.

She needed to discover that. Would it be easy? Not by a long shot. Did I think she could handle it? Absolutely. She had the heart of gold, an unbelievable group of people who already loved her, supported her, and wanted her. His rejection would hurt, but eventually, I was sure she could find the strength to forgive as well.

“You just let go. You let go of the ache in your heart, the anger in your soul, and the desire to be perfect for him.”

“I can’t do that.”

“Maybe not now, but soon. I promise you that much. One day, you’ll wake up and discover that you can move on. That you don’t need his acceptance any longer to be a whole, beautiful person. It’ll be the most freeing experience of your life. And then you can truly begin to heal.”

She looked over at her mother again, smiling this time. “Okay, but I still need to find him. I don’t know if I can ever move on if I don’t.”

Mom nodded sadly. “I know, and I will do what I can. And you know, that no matter what, when this is all said and done, that I will be there for you, right?”

The girl smiled more broadly. “Of course. I couldn’t do this without you.”

I smiled. She’ll never know just how lucky she was to have grown up with such a loving family surrounding her. How grateful she should be for that hold in her heart, instead of a hole in her soul like I had for most of my life. I’d not change things for me, my trials have helped me become who I am, but if I can spare one child that anguish, then it’s worth it. If I can help this one child that I adore so much, than I have achieved something worthy.

And that in itself is healing the emptiness inside me, my heart, my soul, my very being, making me whole all over again.

Code Red 2: Life Sentence ~ Chapter 3

Mika’s Note: This is it for now, more next week sometime.  Enjoy!

Back to the Grind

They’d managed to steal four days alone before Ali’s leave time was up. Reluctantly, they said good-bye and went their separate ways. Ali went back to her headquarters in Washington, DC; Blake back to his sometime-home in Nashville before heading back to his real home outside of Tulsa.

Ali sat with her booted feet propped on her desk, thinking on her recent mission to Peru. The situation there had been handled and the rebels, aka terrorists, had been contained. Something still didn’t make sense but she couldn’t quite put her finger on it. Yet. She leaned back in her chair and tapped her lips with a finger.

“Let it go,” the voice told her.

She looked up and met the soft brown eyes of fellow soldier, Andrew Kash. “Hey Andy, let what go?”

“Whatever it is you’re thinking so hard about. It can’t be good.”

Ali grinned, sitting up in her chair and putting her feet back on the floor. “I was just rehashing our last mission.”

Andrew frowned. “See, I told you it wasn’t good.” He leaned forward and rested his forearms on the edge of her desk. “What has you rethinking that one? We went in, we got out, none of the good guys got hurt.”

“Yeah,” she agreed, “but something’s still not right. We never found their ring leader and that worries me.”

He shrugged, unconcerned. “They all slither back to the same dank hole eventually, so why worry?”

“I dunno,” she admitted, “I just feel like we missed something and it’s annoying me.”

“Better put it out of your mind soon. Just heard General Stone discussing a possible new mission with Caleb and Bryan. I think your office was their next stop.”

“Thanks for the heads up. I can look busy then.”

Laughing, he couldn’t pass up the chance to tease her a little. “Also gives you time to get him off your mind.”

Ali growled and he ran for the door. “Jerk,” she muttered. Approximately three minutes later there was a knock on her door. “Enter.”

General Stone entered followed by her two commanding officers, Bryan and Caleb. “Afteroon Lieutenant, may we have a seat?”

She wasn’t so sure she liked this; for any kind of mission debriefing or discussion she’d have been summoned to them. The fact that they had come to her boded ill for everyone. “Of course, General. Can I get any of you a drink?” She had a mini fridge stocked with bottled water and Frappuccinos for those times when she desperately needed a caffeine fix.

“No thank you, Allyson,” Stone replied, urging her to sit. “We’ve come to,” he looked at his two right hand men, momentarily at a loss for words, “have a bit of a discussion with you.”

“Okay,” she began, slightly afraid. “Any other time, I probably would be aware of what I’d done to deserve a confrontation like this, but for once I’m at a loss. Enlighten me.”

Caleb frowned. “I think you’re pretty sure of what you’ve done.”

“Huh?” Ali looked from face to face trying to find some hint of the crime she’d committed but wasn’t getting any help. “Okay, so call me stupid, but I really don’t know.”

“It’s probably because she doesn’t think it was wrong,” Bryan snorted angrily. “Sleeping with a man committed to another woman doesn’t generally cross her mind as wrong.”

“Fuck me,” she mumbled under her breath. “This is about Blake then, I’m guessing?”

“Yes,” General Stone started, leaning forward in an effort to intimidate her. She’d known him for too many years however, he didn’t intimidate her in the least. “It has been brought to my attention that you’ve had an… interlude… with the man.”

Ali choked on the mouth of water she’d taken. Interlude? She swore they’d performed entire concerts… “Excuse me?”

Bryan opened his mouth, ready with an angry response, but the good General beat him. “I have reason to believe you’ve been intimate with Mr. Matson, Allyson.”

Looking from Bryan to Caleb, she realized that they’d either assumed she would or had found out somehow. Undaunted and unashamed she wasn’t worried that she’d done anything really wrong. “And?”

“And you damn well knew you weren’t allowed!” Bryan managed to get his nasty retort in this time.

“Allowed? Are you my father now? I sure as hell hope not because…”

“Bryan! Allyson!” General Stone bellowed. “Stop it now.”

“Yes sir,” they muttered, glaring at one another.

“What he means is that you knew going in that any sort of fraternization between the two of you was not permitted. You broke that rule.”

“Only after the mission was finished.”

The General squeezed his eyes shut, hoping he really hadn’t heard her correctly. “So they’re right then,” he asked her, slowly opening his eyes to look at her.

“Yes, sir,” she admitted, frightened for the first time since they’d arrived.

“Lieutenant, you do know that that’s not allowed either?”

“If I had known, do you think I would have done it?” Seventeen times.

Stone let out a heavy breath. “When did you last see him?”

“My last visit home, a week or so ago.”

“Make sure that it’s your last.” General Stone stood to leave and motioned to the other two to do the same.

“But General…”

“No buts, Allyson. You know the rules.”

“And this is a new one for me,” she fumed.

Bryan crossed his arms and smirked, waiting for the fireworks to fly.

Stone looked around and frowned. “Bryan, Caleb, wait for me back at my office.”

“But,” they both spluttered, disappointed at missing what was sure to be a real show.

“Now,” he growled.

“Yes, sir,” they muttered and slinked out the door.

Ali glared. “When did the rules change?”

Stone held his hands up. “I’m sorry, but I have no choice. Keeping your identity on the down-low is high priority. If you start dating someone who is so high profile, it will blow your cover. Makes it hard to go unnoticed when everyone knows who you are.”

He had a point there, she had to admit. “I have no intentions of being in the spotlight with him. He even said that he didn’t want to share me with the world. I don’t see…”

“Because you are blind. You know what you have to do, now do it. Understand?”

Ali nodded, unhappy. Blake was going to be pissed. And that’s if she was lucky.

Chapter 4: Coming Clean

The plate of food sat on the table in front of her, untouched. She hadn’t eaten all day and yet, she couldn’t bring herself to eat this, either. Her stomach was in knots.

“Ali?” her brother asked concerned, “Are you okay?”

She shook her head. “No, not really.”

“You’ve been acting weird all week, wanna talk about it?”

She frowned. “Not really, but I suppose I should.” She picked up a tortilla chip and sighed. Crunching on the cheese and sour cream covered bit of chip, she chewed and thought how to break the news to her brother. “I’ve been ordered to break off my relationship with Blake.”

“What?” The shrill response startled both Ali and Albert.

“Hey Shana,” Albie called out once his heart had started beating again.

“Geez, you scared me.”

“Well, you just scared me too, chickie,” the redhead informed her, plopping down next to her and reaching for her roommate’s nachos. “I thought you just said you were dumping Mr. HotStuff Cowboy.”

Ali sighed again. “I have to.”

“What the fuck for?” Albert. Never one to mince words.

“No choice. Stone’s afraid that his um, fame will blow my cover and thus ruin every possible future mission.”

“And thus dooming the free world to a fate worse than death,” Shana finished for her, quoting one of their general’s favorite scenarios.

“Something like that,” she mumbled. “More like ruining any chance I had to be happy for a change, that’s for sure.”

Taking her hand, Albie gave it a squeeze. “Have you talked to him yet?”

She shook her head. “Not yet, I don’t even know what to tell him.”

“How about your C.O. is a dumbass?” Shana looked at her two friends and their frowns. “What? Works for me.”

A smile quirked up one half of Ali’s mouth. “Works for me too, but I doubt Blake will accept that.”

“So, what then?”

“I don’t know, Red, but I do know it won’t be easy. He and Leslie had a big row after the awards show. She admitted to her infidelities and he walked away. I don’t know what to say that’s not going to make him feel just as betrayed.”

Code Red 2: Life Sentence ~ Chapter 2

Headlights in the Rain

It had been months; too many months if you asked him. Sadly, no one had bothered. He missed her and the waiting was killing him. “Just a few more weeks,” he whispered to himself. “Just a few more weeks. Then you can see her again. C’mon. It won’t kill ya.” He sighed. “The hell it won’t,” he mumbled loudly. Their prearranged date, set for Valentine’s Day, was much too far in the future for his taste.

He’d last seen her here in October. It was now New Year’s Eve. A dark, rainy New Year’s Eve to boot. “What a way to start a new year,” he thought sourly. “Just what I didn’t need tonight.” The clouds were thick, grey and showed no signs of letting up anytime soon.

Blake let the curtains fall back into place and paced the hotel room. He and his band should’ve been on their way back to Nashville, back home, by now but the nasty weather was keeping them in Vegas for one more night. “There are worse places to be stuck, I suppose,” he grumbled, unconvinced. At least his band mates were enjoying themselves. Someone had to.

Music floated up from his hip suddenly. Snatching his phone up, he glanced at the display. Seeing her name appear, he grinned. “It’s about time, babe. I’ve been waiting weeks to hear from you!”

“Sorry, Cowboy, been out of the country as you are aware. Kinda hard to make calls from Peru, ya know.”

“I suppose,” he teased, not wanting to let her off the hook quite yet, “but it’s still no excuse.”

“Jerk,” she teased back. “So, what’s new with you?”

“Nothin’. Just stuck here in Vegas for the night.”

“Can you get ‘stuck’ in Vegas?” she asked. “Most people I know would kill for a reason to stay over.”

“Well, if it weren’t for this freak rainstorm, I could be on my way home tonight. I need to go home. I want to go home. This trip has worn me out.”

“Gettin' old there, Cowboy.”

“HEY! That’s not nice!”

Ali laughed at his outrage. “Easy boy.”

“It’s hard to be calm when I’m here in the rain and you’re… um, where are you?”

“Home.”

“Home? Not at your headquarters?”

“Nope. I’m home for the first time in ages. Well, actually more like eighteen months, unless you count a day here and a day there, but I don’t.”

“Hmm. So, where’s home for you?”

“Henderson.”

“Hendersonville? Tennessee? Why didn’t you…?”

She cut him off before he could get too excited. “No dork. Nevada.”

“Huh?”

“I think you need some sleep. Henderson, Nevada. I’m probably about fifteen miles from you, at most, depending on where you’re staying.”

“Oh.” Then: “OH! You’re HERE! So, why aren’t you here then?” Meaning with him. Preferably naked.

“Because,” she said, as if explaining the facts of life to a two-year-old, “I didn’t know where you even were until you answered the phone, remember?”

“Oh, yeah. There is that.”

“Are you always this thick?”

“Not always.”

“Just usually?”

“Right. So, how long until you get here?”

“Gonna tell me where you are first?”

“Nope. Ya gotta guess.”

~*~

After checking his website for the venue he’d been performing at, Ali got into her Jeep and headed down to the infamous Las Vegas Strip. Traffic was atrocious and took her almost forty-five minutes to make a routine, twenty-minute trip. Eventually, she pulled into valet and left her keys with the attendant. He took the keys from her and moaned, “So much for the fireworks, huh?”

She nodded in sympathy. One of the nice things about living in Las Vegas was the fireworks. You got them on the 4^th of July, of course, but also on New Year’s Eve, at every casino opening, and anytime the gambling moguls thought it would work to their advantage. “No fear, they’ll shoot ‘em off tomorrow if they can’t tonight.” And it was true. Anything to bring the people back out.

Stepping off to the side, avoiding all the foot traffic, she pulled out her cell phone and dialed.

“Yeah?”

“Hey Cowboy, I’m down at valet. Where are you?”

“Standing right behind you.”

Grinning, she flipped her phone shut and stuffed it into her pocket. “How’d ya know?”

“You’re too smart for your own good.” He pulled her into a tight hug and held her close. “I knew it wouldn’t take you long to find me.”

“So? Dinner or what?”

“Dinner definitely,” he said, reluctantly letting her go. “I’m starved. They’ve got a good steak place here. C’mon.” He reached for her hand and led her into the casino.

~*~

“Glad to see your appetite hasn’t changed any.”

“Stuff it, Blake. I like to eat.”

“And apparently, you aren’t shy about it either.” She threatened him with a forkful of baked potato. “I’m not complaining, I swear!” he laughed, hands in the air, waving in mock surrender.

Ali lowered her forkful of potato and smiled at him. “I’ve missed you.”

“Me too. I mean, you.” Blake sighed and shook his head. “One more time – I’ve missed you too.”

“Amazing. You write beautiful love songs that woo millions of women but can’t tell me whatcha mean for diddly.”

“Putting words on paper is so much easier. Ya don’t have to have a conversation. Ya just talk to the paper and it stays quiet.”

“Mmm. Imagine that, something that doesn’t talk back.”

He glared at her and thought better than to say what he was thinking. Instead, he grabbed the dessert menu out of her hands. Ignoring her protests, he perused the night’s selections and settled on some cheesecake.

~*~

Resisting the urge to lick the whipped cream from the edges of her mouth, she lifted the napkin to her lips and dabbed at it, hoping she got it all. Blake watched her intently, smiling self-consciously the entire time.

“What?”

“Ya shoulda let me get that for you.”

“Do you ever think about things before you say them?”

“Yeah.”

“Bet that was one of those things that sounded better inside huh?”

Ignoring her, he smiled. “Take me home with you.”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me. I’d take you back upstairs but the entire world would know by daybreak. And this is not something I want to share with the whole world.”

“Just my neighbors?”

“Sure, as long as they’re not too nosy.” He leaned in closer to her. “Please?”

She gave in to the smile building behind her lips. “Can’t resist a man who says ‘please.’ Pay for dinner and we’ll go. Although,” she paused, looking at him, “you’re not gonna be impressed.”

“With you? Too late.”

“No, my house. It’s kinda small.”

“I grew up in a small house. I like ‘em.”

“And that’s why you live on 200 acres?”

Blake blushed. “Well…”

“Come on, Cowboy. I’m just teasing.”

Swatting playfully at the back of her head, he followed happily.

~*~

Ali chatted aimlessly on the drive back to her modest place on the outskirts of Las Vegas. Between singing along with the radio and talking about her latest trip, she stole glances at her some-times-between-times-boyfriend. Wishing she could get him more permanently, she sighed.

“What’s the matter, Cookie?”

“Just thinkin’.”

“’Bout what?”

“You and me and a dog named Boo.”

“Funny.” He let the silence fill the car temporarily. He knew what she was thinking because he had the same idea. Not that it’d ever work, but he was more than willing to try. Instead of speaking his mind, he stared out at the stretch of freeway before them. The darkness of the night overpowered the streetlights overhead. Visibility was almost nothing but Ali was an accomplished driver. She’d driven in much worse.

Contemplating what was to come, and ultimately how it’d end, he stared at the play of the headlights in the rain. The halogens were broken up into shards of light by the storm. Solid for a moment, then shattered by the wind and rain. The gusts of wind and downpour of rain echoed Blake’s scattered thoughts and torrent of emotions. He looked at Ali as she concentrated on the road.

“Next exit, almost home.” She glanced quickly at him and frowned. “Don’t think so much. It’s not good for you.”

“Sorry. Just wondering how I’m gonna leave you later.”

“Easy. Don’t.” She grinned mischievously. “Well, not until you have to, anyway.”

Blake grinned despite himself. “Works for me.”

“Good, because we’re home.”

Ali turned into the drive and paused, waiting for the garage to open. “All ashore,” she teased, pulling in and closing the door behind her.

~*~

He sat on the edge of the bed and watched her getting dressed in the moonlight. It was time to go. The call had come half an hour ago, probably when they discovered he wasn’t in his room. Taking her hand as she passed, he pulled her close to him.

“As much as I’d like to, I doubt your band is going to want to wait another hour or two.”

“You don’t have to drive me back. I can call a cab. Stay here and stay warm.”

“Uh-uh. The storm’s died down and besides, I don’t know when I’m gonna see you again. I can’t just let you walk out my door.” She looked away from his pleading blue eyes. “Anyway, at least this way it feels like I have some kind of control.” She let out a long breath. “Here, put your shirt on. We’ve gotta get moving.”

“This sucks.”

“You said it, babe.”

The words had only barely left her mouth before she found herself flat on her back, with Blake smiling down at her. He was still shirtless, looking good in nothing but his jeans. He had his cell phone in his hand and a grin on his face.

“What are you doing?”

Stealing a quick, chaste kiss, he quieted her. “Shhh…” He dialed and listened intently. “Hey. Yeah. It’s me. Look, head on home without me. I’m gonna stick around here for a bit.” Silence. “No, I’ll catch a plane in a few days.” More silence. Blake laughed. “Noooo, nothing like that. What makes you think I’d be shacking up with someone?” He gave Ali a look that spoke volumes. “Nope, I won’t forget. Ha, ha, very funny. Yeah. Have a safe trip. See ya in a few. ‘Kay. Bye.”

Smiling, he closed his phone and tossed it onto the nightstand. Placing a small kiss on her forehead, he whispered, “Happy New Year, babe.” He snuggled down close to her. “Now I don’t have to leave until you throw me out.”

Ali laughed and closed her eyes, enjoying the sensation of his dark curls against her face as he buried his nose in her neck. “As if that’s going to happen!”

“Yeah,” he agreed. “As if.”

Code Red 2: Life Sentence ~ Chapter 1

Mika’s Note: Sure as hell is a good thing I don’t have any avid readers as I just posted a chapter and removed it because DOH it was the WRONG ONE.  LOL  Sorry…

Chapter 1: Rainy Day Blues

Ali looked up from her report to gaze out at the cloudy, grey skies. Sighing at the beauty of a rainstorm in the desert, she forced herself to buckle down and get back to work. If only her mind would cooperate.

Raindrops pounded against the window overlooking her neglected herb garden. Herb forest, as her charming brother Albie referred to it. Basil gone wild. Mint and oregano bushes. That sort of thing. At least the rain kept the bees at bay.

Giving up on the report for the time being, she left her desk and walked to the window. Gazing at the green herbs, her thoughts wandered to her missing half.

“Where are you, Cowboy?” she asked herself. “And are you thinking of me?”

They’d parted ways ten days ago in this same city. He’d called a few times; so had she. He’d even sent her a text or two in the last week and a half. But it wasn’t the same. It certainly wasn’t ‘enough’. Enough what? She wasn’t sure. All she knew was that it wasn’t enough.

Thunder rumbled in the distance followed quickly by a flash of light. Ali hugged her arms around herself and leaned sideways against the wall. The emptiness inside her grew a bit.

“Why aren’t you here?” she whispered.

The sound of her cell phone ringing startled her out of her reverie. Smiling at the caller ID display, she answered, “Hey gorgeous, where are you?”

“You stole my line,” he teased. “So, what are ya up to these days?”

Ali laughed. “Not much. Trying to finish the last of the paperwork left over from the ‘Hick Incident’ as HQ is calling it. Then, in a week, I’m being shipped out again; destination unknown.”

“Unknown?”

“Well, until I’m debriefed, it’s unknown. Classified, rather. Other than that, I’m just standing here watching the rain.”

“I’ve always liked rainy days. Makes a small town even smaller.”

“Yeah, I’m sure.” The silence hung easily between them. “Well, I guess I should finish my report. I’ve got a chair by the fire and a cup of hot chocolate calling my name.”

“Oh. Um, okay.”

“Blake?”

“Yeah?”

“I miss you. A lot.”

“Me too.” He gave a short laugh. “I mean I miss you too.”

“I knew what ya meant, Cowboy.”

“Good.” He paused, taking a deep breath. “When can I see you again?” he said in a rush. “How long are you going to be gone?”

Ali sighed. “I really don’t know, Blake. These assignments can last anywhere from a day or three to several months. This last assignment, your assignment, lasted three months.”

“Crap.”

“My thoughts exactly. I wouldn’t think it would take any longer than 6 weeks, from what I already know about it, which would put me back here around the middle of December.”

“That’s too long. I’m not sure I can wait until December!”

“You are so sad, Cowboy.”

“I can’t help it,” he said in small voice. “I’ve never needed anyone like this before.”

She bit into her bottom lip, feeling as if that pit in her chest had opened up and swallowed her whole. “I don’t know what to tell you. I wish we could make a date for New Year’s, but I have no way of knowing if I’ll be home by then.” Or alive even, she thought in horror. Her upcoming assignment was not a pleasant one.

“Alright, alright…” he began. “How ‘bout Valentine’s Day? That’s longer than I want to wait, but you should be home by February, right?”

“I would hope so.”

“Good. It’s a date then, Cookie. I’ll just miss you until then, I guess.”

“Sorry. Wish there was another option but there just isn’t.” Ali took a deep breath; let it out slowly. She hated what she had to tell him next. “Are you going to be okay while I’m gone? You know you won’t be able to have any kind of contact with me.” Tensely, she waited for the explosion.

“What! Why? How…”

“Blake, honey, I’m being sent out of the country and secrecy is our primary priority. I’m sorry,” she finished lamely.

“How am I gonna keep from going crazy? Not knowing if you’re okay or not? What if…” his voice caught slightly, “… if something happens?”

Her stomach tightened at the hitch in his voice. “I’ll be checking in with HQ regularly. I’ll make sure Albert calls you with updates. It’s the best I can do.”

“Okay,” he agreed sullenly. “I guess it’s better than nothing.”

“Thank you for understanding. It’s hard for me too. I hate leaving my friends, my family really, and I hate leaving you.”

“Glad to hear it.”

She smiled at the sound of the smirk in his voice. “Gee, thanks, honey.” Smiling to herself, she listened to him breathe for a moment, remembering a time she made his heart pound and his breath ragged. “I always miss the simple things the most. The phone calls. The sound of you breathing beside me. Chocolate. That kind of thing. I’ll call you the minute I’m back in the states, okay?”

“You better. I’ve got some more of that breathing to do, ya know?”

Catching his not-so-subtle hint, she laughed out loud. “Sure, I’d be happy to help ya with that. But seriously, as much as I like this, I have got to get this paperwork done. Caleb was kind enough to let me bring it home with me and not make me return to DC with him to finish it. But, he also expects it by morning, so I’ve gotta get working.”

The sound of his sigh saddened her. “Okay. Just don’t forget about me, okay?”

“Not so sure that I could do that if I tried, Cowboy.”

“Watch out for yourself, okay?”

“Always. And take care of you, too, right?”

“Right.” Pause. “Miss you, babe.”

“Miss you too, Cowboy. Talk to you soon.”

“Yeah. Bye.”

Ali closed her cell phone and looked back out at the rain. It had picked up while she was on the phone. Water poured from the heavens in a steady stream. Clean. Refreshing. Cleansing. So why’d she feel like crying suddenly?

“So?”

“So what, Albie?” She didn’t turn to acknowledge him, afraid of what he might see on her face. Albert Rogan knew her a bit too well.

“Sooo, how’d he take the bad news?”

“And what makes you think it was even him?”

“Because you still have your back to me, for one.”

Damn. “He wasn’t too happy at first, but he’s okay with it now, I guess.” She wasn’t sure at all, but he didn’t need to know that.

“That’s good news.”

“I guess.” She turned to face him finally. “You’re gonna have to fulfill your promise now, though.” Seeing the mug of hot chocolate in his hands, she smiled.

He held it out to her. “I even remembered the whipped cream, see?” He waved towards the puff of white floating in her drink. “I had every intention of keeping my promise, even if you hadn’t asked. I know what he’s come to mean to you.”

Ali met his eyes, surprised, her drink halfway to her mouth. “You what?”

“It’s only obvious. If nothing else, spending all that time with him on the road, I knew you’d become friends at least. He’s too nice of a guy not to like.” He watched as she sipped her hot chocolate. “And when you add in his odd sense of humor and those blue eyes, I knew you’d be hooked.”

“Am I that transparent?”

“No, I just knew you were that lonely. Now, don’t argue with me,” he stopped her before she could get started. “Hell, I’m in the same boat, remember? If it wasn’t for you, I’m not sure I’d even remember what a woman was.”

Ali rolled her eyes at him and smiled. “Thank you. For everything.”

“You’ll get my bill in the mail.”

“No doubt,” she grinned, rolling her eyes once more.

Code Red 2: Life Sentence: Info

Okay, so it’s been awhile.  And I have no excuse because, if you had any idea how many pieces I have written in this series, you’d shoot me for holding them hostage.  Or well, maybe not.  LOL

Anyway, I’ve been trying to find a better way to tie the first part in with what came after, and I think I have come to a workable solution.  If not, I’m sure you’ll let me know.  *glares at certain somebodies*  This might take longer to get posted and updated because things have changed in Ali’s world since I first started writing this and I need to make sure I have all my fact straight. LOL  Can’t have Ali complaining now, can I?  She does enough of that crap without a reason.  GIVE her a reason?  *shudders*

LOL

Happy Wednesday Faithful Reader (or two)!

~Mika

Sorry, Wrong Goddess

Mika’s Notes: Written in October 2007, this was written after discovering The Seventh Sanctum and it’s Grimoire of Questionable Spells.  Do I really need to go any farther?

He whirled his wand in the air and pointed it at the angry shopkeeper. He’d been yelling, screaming and throwing a tantrum for nearly fifteen minutes, ever since the brothers had crashed through his storeroom wall with their stolen go kart. “Hear me now, Goddess Ophisti, save this man from himself!”

A bright green blast of light shot forward out of his wand, hitting the angry man square in the chest. The shopkeeper stumbled backwards, flailing his arms in a desperate attempt to keep his balance. Falling backwards, he landed in a pile of empty boxes that had been scattered by the crash.

All was quiet for about thirty-five seconds when the once-angry shopkeeper leaped up and looked around nervously. Flinging an arm to the side, he smashed a box of Cheez-Its, causing them to fall to the floor, adding to the mess in the storeroom.

“What the hell is going on here?” the shopkeeper asked quickly. “Why are all these boxes on the floor? Why are you two back here? This is my store and I don’t want you here can’t have you here now you’ve gotta go. Didn’t you hear me? You’ve gotta get out of here now before I call the police!”

Roderick looked at his twin, eyes wide. “My gods, he didn’t even take a breath. Who the heck did you invoke anyway?”

Ramos shrugged. “Ophisti, the goddess of calm.”

“No, you dork!” Roderick declared, smacking his younger brother in the head. “Ophelti is the goddess of calm. Ophisti is the goddess of chaos in small doses!”

“Oh crap,” Ramos muttered, paling visibly. “You know what this means then?”

“What? That instead of hitting him with the laser of collected thoughts you hit him with the luminous ray of caffeine? You idiot! Sometimes I’m ashamed to be your twin.”

Friendship Quotes

My best friend has been collecting these and sending them to me.  Thought I’d share a few since I’m leaving tomorrow morning to go see her.  Can anyone else here just SEE Dakotah in the Old West?

Don’t walk in front of me, I may not follow.  Don’t walk behind me, I may not lead.  Just walk beside me and be my friend. – Albert Camus

I no doubt deserved my enemies, but I don’t believe I deserved my friends. – Walt Whitman.

Friends are the family we choose ourselves. – Edna Buchanan

Only real friends will tell you when your face is dirty. – Sicilian Proverb

Friends are the little prize in the cereal box of life. – Anonymous

LOL  Okay, no more for today.  I have a ton more though, so keep your eyes peeled.  :)

Mika